Coupe

thAu moment de démêler mes cheveux

the day you cut yourself

you have to hurt

lose

some trace of past

much beloved

forming solace

the retreat within

only then, not even then

take one shuffled step forward

you are not yourself anymore

you are the one you became

when they ate your heart

licked the plate clean

no need to wash

 

it’s not true

you stay the same afterward

you do not

you are extinguished

half reborn

each time or only once

harder

a shell of former self

patting scars down

like fur

refusing to smooth

 

when I laid my head

on your lap

my hair spilled across your knees

down to the floor

just as my tears now

will fill me with the strength

to cut out the part of me

holding you

it is nearly all of my sum

 

so necessarily

I will start as nothing

build slowly into an approximation

something will be sacrificed

something will be lost

never to return

it is the part of me that could trust

it is the rope of my devourment

 

I will be shorn

of the muscles of my heart

for you took everything

leaving only

a pair of scissors

glinting on tabletop

if I stretch out

I can reach

their

steel

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38 thoughts on “Coupe

  1. Powerful and a sad but beautiful imagery. Again, I am thankful for the space between your lines which allow me to pause and catch my breath. As a person who is chased by depression, I totally understand and relate to this writing. Which is both good and sad at the same time. I describe my depression as those beautiful black horses in the Hobbit movies. With riders with no face. Beautiful horses and riders who never stop. My goal is to outrun them. They know and I know it is just a matter of time. If I can’t outrun them, I try to hide. I can hear them as they gallop by and then know it is ok to take another breath. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts which touch the deepest parts of my heart.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Em I would say the very same of your work I really love it as you know I read the one today where you talked about isolation and I felt as if I had written it. xo BIG HUG TO YOU because as long as you touch people like that with your work you are never really alone.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. … But most of my stuff isn’t so much beautiful poetry like yours, as just speaking matter-of-fact-ly with some semblance of rhythmic prose… I find I need practice in speaking my poems – that’s a tough one.
        I guess I thrive on my quiet time…sharing thoughts & expressions, coming clean…

        Like

  2. Those who self harm often describe the action as a relief and a release rather than a pain – although at one level I can understand that, on another the concept is so foreign to me having never plunged into that particular well myself.Have I felt deep emotional pain ? yes indeed… I just deal with it in a different way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometimes sorrow makes for the best work. It also expresses life in a realistic way. As life is not always roses it can be painful. I would say you write it with perfection and true passion. Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  4. when I laid my head

    on your lap

    my hair spilled across your knees

    down to the floor

    just as my tears now

    will fill me with the strength

    to cut out the part of me

    holding you

    it is nearly all of my sum

    …So incredible…those lines! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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