f64c917f731235b5604b2779ecb5e01bMy hand

resting a top yours

the same size in our shadow

you with little feet and longer ties

inheriting portions


I see in your eyes

the easement of life

as if you are in slow motion

falling gently behind yourself

going back in time

I think of the local cinema

being old enough to see over the railing

a film about a man plugged to a machine

all his memories flickering in retreat

until he is a fetus a heartbeat a blip

so far back he does not exist


is that you?

dissolving, reducing

I watch bread rise and moon’s sink

wonder at the circular motion of things

how I slept with a light on

now you remind me

not to close the door

my chest aches for what I long to give but cannot


it is as if you were born of me

my longing to love

I cannot make sense of why

but you were always the only one

my arms reach at night for your surround


I hear your voice on hungry chime of wind

all the pain blooms around me

like cancan girls frothing their scarlet hems

I remember bougainvillea climbing up the walls

can see you with your hair slicked back from the bath

steam rising in dark breeze


you made a circle of me and wore me around your neck

where I lay far too still listening to your heart beat

now we are divided by wire and thread

two half-made mannequins

no matter how far I stretch

I cannot reach your gaze

it stared listless at angry waves

as they build and recede

in the abyss of your memories


48 thoughts on “Full

  1. I love this Shieldmaiden….and I have to ask…was the movie Flash Gordon…the scene when they were erasing Hans Zarkovs memory?

    You are wonderful. 💙

  2. Lol! I love that movie too. Yep! I remember that too…but I have to say my favorite part of it is, Voltan and the Hawkmen!!

  3. ” all the pain blooms around me ” is so descriptive of how I have felt at various times. Interesting combination of words: pain and bloom. Thank you for sharing your gifts!

  4. Candice Luisa,
    — this was so sad . . .
    — to business: you wrote: “where I lay far too still listening to your heart beat, now we are divided by wire and thread
    two half-made manikin’s …”
    The “wire and thread” could apply differently for:
    1) manikins – plural – no apostrophe = dwarfs
    2) mannikins with two Ns – plural – no apostrophe = little finches
    3) mannequins – plural – preferred spelling = human forms
    Not b*tching or moaning. You just bring out the English teacher in me. ❤

    — "Full" really expresses the fragility of the relationship with 'circle of me …around your neck."
    — makes me want to say "Dump that selfish b^$tard."
    Your fan,

  5. My talented art friend who always gives me images to muse over, you can talk! There are different forms of creativity I think and you are up there with the rest of us, you inspire me with your subjects and considerations and I am grateful to you – thank you so much my friend

  6. Okay I’m checking now. I do the same as you do, some days on fire, others I’m exhausted. Such is the artists lament my friend, do not concern yourself you are already there, it’s just hard to maintain and few do, but in the end we get there and stay there, just fitfully such is our weave. xo

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