Recommendations for healing from a distance


I told a compassionate jurist once, the recipe for understanding the anxious at heart:

the most disturbing clamor, is that of positivities drum

it beats loudly outside their chamber

be grateful for life it proclaims

illuminating sub-text running a ticker tape parade

if you are not grateful you are a bad person


for we know, the anxious will always examine

the inverse and underside

as they themselves are examined and categorized

if you say well at least be glad you are not dead

they will consider all those who seek life

so desperately and why they

who remain unsure at water’s edge

do not perish instead

(take my place! take my place!) (what crimes exist within our fates!)

if you say well, it could be much worse

they will consider all the terrible things that can occur

and condemn themselves for any pain


it is the nature of the anxious mind to examine

things in detail

so when they’re told to be happy

go to the gym every day and wash your hair

eat right, socialize even when you feel quiet

through positive action you can get a handle on what ails you

the inverse message reads

and if you still feel sad or anxious afterward you are to blame

it is that sub-text that haunts the most

cure is the curse is the cure is the curse

maybe if it were not seen as elective

subj-text: I choose to feel this way

torn into pieces flayed by wolves

a part of me wants to live like this

how absurd

would we say that of someone with cancer?

you know you want this disease! You brought it on yourself!


ironically depressed and anxious souls make

good bed fellows

when they say misery loves company it is a judgement

wedged between passive and aggressive

you choose to intensify your downfall is the implication

but in truth

those who will reach for you in the darkness and say

come take my hand I will walk with you and light the way

are many times those least equipped to do it

often it will not be those who think themselves compassionate

they will stand on the fringe and shout

recommendations for healing from a distance

as if the leper who cannot be touched

must stand apart and die in a new brand of isolation


the divisions of the haves and have-nots

contributions to misery

like tossing a penny in a well and making a wish

is not as good as causing that wish to come true

by actions

not scolds

not rebukes

80 thoughts on “Recommendations for healing from a distance

  1. Wow… this is everything I love ❤ What a gorgeous voice you have to offer to a less appealing struggle. Keep speaking it out sista ❤

  2. Perfectly describes the feelings of those who have ever dealt with depression or addiction. The alienation, the “why don’t you just ….?” Amazing work Candice

  3. Excellent message!
    Cuts to the heart of the garbage we sell people who just need our empathy and help.
    Open the pocketbook and shut the judging eyes. Open the ears and shut the mouth.

  4. So well said, a poem in its own right I think! (thank you, the mercy of the stranger is what has literally saved lives, it is sad when we cannot rely upon those who know us to show the same mercy).

  5. I really appreciate you saying so. It was a tough one to write because I really wanted to convey the message for everyone who has been left without help and also with an idea that there are those who care out there.

  6. Real mercy is a precious jewel. Those who give it are treasures. We need to mine and cultivate more of that treasure in our young people. Poems like this can help make them aware.

  7. This really touches me, as the mother of a daughter who suffers from generalized anxiety disorder. Thank you for sharing, Love. ❤

  8. Lovely Lady (I suppose I can’t call you girl if you are a mom to a great daughter) I can hardly believe you are old enough! She’s lucky to have you, because many parents really get aggravated and fed-up with their kids anxiety I know you must do all you can for her, and she will be better off as a result of having a mom like you my friend. (Another reason to admire you).

  9. You are so kind. 🙂 Now I’m really going to blow your mind; my girl will be 20 in May, and she has been living in her own place (five minutes away) three months. Nicole is a Certified Pharmacy Technician. I love her infinitely.

  10. Did you hear a big SPLAT! ?? That was my mind BLOWING! Ok I admit I find that impossible! WOW OH WOW! I’m proud of you! Not only do you get to bring such a wonderful person into this world but you retain the visage of a girl yourself! Okay definitely impressed! Magic! That’s a really good job she’s going into. It is insane that she’s 20 you could be in your twenties, not that getting older is bad (it’s great) but GIRL you got it goin on!

  11. Seriously looking at your picture I’d say you were a really good looking twenty something. I’m personally glad I’m well out of my 20’s and 30’s but I know the world at large, excepts all women to be perpetual 27 year olds. Not me. Glad you are older actually, another thing in common, though NOBODY would ever believe it !

  12. I turn 39 this year. I’m happy to be aging, actually. I love myself more and more the older I grow.

  13. This is gorgeous. Really loved the dialogues in between! To some extent I imagine this poem as a conversation with oneself, the ongoing conflict within someone.

  14. Wow! So amazing! This really spoke to me, as someone with mental and emotional issues and finding that people don’t want to here or don’t want to help. I really liked the parts where you wrote about home an anxious mind turns on itself and can’t help but over analyze and dissect every little things!

    As others have said, your writing flows really well and you have a great gift for metaphor as well!

  15. Wow.. just wow. This is amazing, and beautifully written. The choice of words you used to get your point across, mixed with a sense of raw truth and blunt reality. Loved every part of it!

  16. Thank you for liking my post – I wandered over here to check out your blog and this happens to be incredibly comforting to read. I appreciate it.

  17. A very important description in one having to deal with depression and addiction. Depression is a very serious and sensitive matter.

    I feel this way a lot and for this poem I relate so much.

    Brilliant work sister. 🙂

  18. So beautiful Candice…you’ve captured the essence of an anxious heart and mind so perfectly and poetically. Hearts & minds that always questions when the next shoe will drop… as if going through life cursed with feeling everything too much wasn’t enough, we always anticipate what will go wrong next. Our anticipation becomes a self fulfilling prophesy of our own creation where every happy moment is followed by sorrow. If only there was a switch to flip that stops the racing thoughts, the heart of uncertainty and doubt we live with constantly. I could never give voice to those feelings as beautifully and completely as you have here my dear friend. ღ

  19. This is everything in a swallow. 👌💞 – it daunted on me that I wasn’t seeing your posts on my feed. On investigation, somehow I have managed to unfollow quite a few people….. I now feel reconciled. 🙏

  20. People who go through as you have described- are told to pull themselves together and ‘ snap out of it’ if they tried hard enough. No they could not-! no more than you can snap out of the flu- or a-broken arm. Your poem- I will show to my 17 year old daughter when she awakes. All day yestersday I walked for over 7 hours trying to understand. I went into the library – got 3 good books out to read. Then I read your poem- and again another gift of understanding. My experience was my experience- every one is different. You are certainly someone who understands indeed ! How are you my friend? Have missed you since around March 7th.

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