From the outside who would know?

Manon_1Born unhealthy

never bruised

from the outside who would know?

the script runs, ticker tape without parade

bleeds over page

paper makers who grind words flat

pinch their rabbinical noses and laugh

huffing ink turning to night’s best epitaph

words words words

what if no language were taught?

gesticulating without benefit of lamp

deaf to injury, blind to plight

what if I shut you in a box and told you

start over, be something else

when your cocoon matured and sticky with life you reemerged

what would you choose?

if not language then

how to describe the pounding of our skinned hearts

pummeled by trespassing probiscus

or fear or loss or something beyond vowel and verse

such as it is

greatest emotion has only, a mark within person

no color no lines no regular interpretation

I put your citrus fingers on my shoulder

stay the curve, feel the hurt and rhubarb joy

rising and falling collapsing bestowing

levitated notions buried and choking

no accent no ethnicity we come from no place

we are no one

in a world sucking through graceless cherry straw

the fervor of acquisition and absurdity

our stage unheated flat and spartan

we learn no lines no mantra, no soliloquy

the actor stands and reveals himself

without pretense, wig and powder

shining underneath a hot summer pulse

blue raven turns his glassy eye

in shuttered shift of crimson cloud

toward cloth moon and catches hare’s quiet

spring

into infinitum and beyond boundary

speak to me

speak to me

speak to me

use what you have within

 

 

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63 thoughts on “From the outside who would know?

  1. I was reading this awesome as usual poetry when I tried to find another post I saw in my inbox but it wasn’t there. It had to do with loathing facebook. I can’t find it! It must be somewhere! I had to tell you I abhor facebook. Everything I get on it to promote or share or whatever my writings I get nothing I would expect. It hasn’t helped. It just provides my brain with unnecessary bullshit wasting space of superficial mundane fb postings.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh my friend I agree. I really abhor FB too. Glad someone else does. Most people seem not to understand that. I really can’t stand it. I’m really glad that you feel that way as I really thought I was going mad! Thank you beautiful girl

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah my friend I could not agree more. I have felt the ‘black dog’ of depression and so that probably exacerbates my dislike of anything untruthful! Hence my long diatribe of a poem today that I just posted. Thank you for listening. I feel so blessed to have found you via our mutual friend, we both think you are totally awesome

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      2. Thank you. You have a beautiful heart. That’s a rare thing. Sadly I have friends who turned out to hurt me out of spite and anger, and I became very cautious about whom to let in and trust. You are the sort of person I believe in because you are honest and good.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I have had too many to hurt me to even count. I am so sorry you have had that too. When you let someone in and it ends up causing more pain it feels even more devastating. I’ve never been depressed as I have been in this last year. I just can’t have any more disappointment so I haven’t let anyone new in. I love that the blogging community is so full of compassionate people. Where the heck are these people in my day to day life??!!!!! Seems there are assholes around every corner these days!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. ” we are no one” to so many! It becomes frightening when we are no one to ourselves. Beautiful writing and powerful imagery! So much to think about and meditate upon here. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts and taking us places we could not go without you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is frightening to imagine how others see us or do not, what we would be like if ‘one thing’ had been different, had we taken this choice over that. But moreover, not the little things but the bigger idea of identity and selfhood, whether we’d choose to ‘re-set’ or carry on as we were. Thank you so much!

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  3. What an interesting question is posed within the poem – if you could start over, be something else, what would you be? And yet, I am so pleased with who I am, and who I am still emerging to be. It is hard to imagine becoming someone or something else, trading the well-worn and familiar issues for the unexplored and mysterious issues of another. Would I sense my loss of self? Would I wander the earth, always uncomfortable in my new skin?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you analyze I think that’s so awesome about you my friend thank you for that and for yourself. I’m so glad you are pleased with who you are, that’s the way it should be. I must admit, by this point in my life, I would re-set, I’m being honest, I used to lie and say I never would, obviously deeply hypothetical but I would. Then again I can definitely say if it were possible to like ourselves enough in this incantation that is definitely the right place to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So deep and beautifully written… I love your writings – thank you For sharing..
    I can’t find your post on fb.. though I don’t hate FB – I do not think it helps or hurts writings/posts.. I find FB is just a fun venue as oppposed to helping promote writings
    However – it has helped small businesses selling items.. that is just my thought 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It is. When our hearts know some better information of the artist..certain words take on different meanings. We are able to see layers of colors under the outermost layer. An entire new meaning to the piece becomes evident.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So last night i was reading this book it talked about the ‘code of ethics’ for chivilry and conduct by Knights one was to protect women, the other to always tell the truth, it was so great, I thought wow that’s Eric he really is a knight! And you are. Because you do all of that and more.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. If you have ever seen Kingdom of Heaven. There are two quotes which define exactly how I wish to conduct myself. One is the oath taken as a Knight

        Be without fear in the face of your enemies.

        Be brave and upright that others may love thee.

        Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death.

        Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong – that is your oath.

        the other is:

        I put no stock in religion.

        By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god.

        I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers.

        Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness.

        What god desires is here (points to head) and here (points to heart)
        and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man – or not.”

        Those are (more or less) the tenets I try and live by. Even before I saw the movie they come from. They define the stances I have always taken when dealing with the world. I am no paragon of Chivalry, I am human and therefore fallible on many levels, nor am I to be considered the perfect example of virtue. But I try to remember and do those things whenever I am aware of my actions…and if it has earned me the reputation of being Knightly…then I will gladly accept that description of me. Thank you, Candice. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

      4. YES! It was the first one! That is the one I read! I have not seen that – a film? Should I? I do agree how many actually live this way? And yet if they did? Can you imagine. I am glad you accepted that description it fit, that’s all I can say, it just fit and I immediately knew it was you when I read it. That’s some kind of wonderful you know.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes, Kingdom of Heaven is a movie by Ridley Scott about the Crusades. You should check it out…I am very much a fan of it. πŸ™‚

        Yes it is some kind of wonderful, Wonderful Lady. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Candice Louisa,
    You wrote: “Gesticulating without benefit of lamp”.
    Did you mean without “light”
    or
    without benefit of “knowledge” – metaphorically ?
    And
    were these the same people who “pinch their rabbinical noses and laugh” ?
    If so,
    is this a specific Jewish perspective?
    If not, did you mean to say “parochial” instead?
    Larry

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I could have said perochial but I chose rabbinical because it describes a kind of style of nose like aqualine or roman and being jewish myself I thought it okay πŸ™‚ I did mean lamps, sometimes I do mis-use a word so I am very glad for your questions thank you my friend!

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  6. the actor stands and reveals himself,
    without pretense, wig and powder,
    shining underneath a hot summer pulse.

    Profound. This reveals the vulnerability that some of now are capable of showing. As a sufferer of deep thinking and often stuck in some sort of existential crisis, which leads to depression and self-medicating. The more I lose the pretense the healthier I become. I now stand naked as I am, a deeply flawed individual and actually I am an actor who has now been very open about my illness and in doing so has gotten so much feedback from others in pain, it relieves me that my broken self can soothe another. Here is my page. A tortured and beaten writer and actor. http://www.facebook.com/edwardreidpage

    Liked by 1 person

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