thI find myself looking at my cold hands

Unable to warm through

Destined to be dry and desiccate

Metaphor for exhaustion

When doors are not sufficient to challenge the unease of living

When it is colder inside than without

Yet retreat is the only certainty

You wound me in ways you cannot understand

Ways I didn’t think existed

They only do if you are fool enough

Long I wait measuring time in butterflies

Ravenous for nectar they summon dormant plants to sprout

Watchful for the chant of life that accompanies the sun

When you take a drive I imagine that’s what you seek too

Some reaffirmed moment

While I can no more summon faith than tan

Beneath UV

For one it beckons an end to their winter sleep

The other, she appreciates the warmth but it is

More harmful than beneficial

As you with your rough emotions

Use scythe and sledge-hammer


And then wonder

With clueless expression

Why I bleed?

43 thoughts on “Bleed

  1. I rarely leave comments unless I have experienced something that truly touches me. There is something that you express in your poems that keeps me coming back. Keeps me looking forward to your next poem. I don’t find this much with poets. Within your poetry I experience so many things. So many feelings. You express positive and negative emotions in a way that they don’t overshadow each other. Your poetry has caused an expansion within myself. Not so much the words but the feelings within the words. The individual power expressed. The personal empowerment. The passion that flows from every line. The deep care that you have for the things that are important to you. This expansion within myself is still something I am trying to understand because it is new to me. So many aspects come from what I experience from your poetry as a whole. A feeling of rebellion. A feeling of standing up for myself. A feeling of standing up for others. A feeling of individuality. A feeling of community and love. A feeling of vulnerability that is not to be confused with weakness. A deep honesty. A feeling of realism. You are so real and this is so refreshing for me to experience in another person. Within all your poetry I don’t experience any hate, any judgment of others. Though your poems might not always directly express it, I feel a great love within the feeling of your poems. All these things have moved me deeply and affected me very much. I so enjoy expansion, especially when I had become so stagnant. I don’t know if I could put to words how much thought and personal expansion I have experienced from your expressions. This isn’t so much a complement but a huge Thank you!

  2. ” metaphor for exhaustion ” allows us room to meditate on that and see what emotions bubble up from our personal experience. A work of heart-felt writing and reelection. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. Thank you for being our guide to places we could not imagine without you!

  3. Alex. Oh my! I can’t respond this is … the best most encouragement I could ever receive. Thank you so much sounds paltry and yet I mean it so very much.

  4. I’m so happy that you take my thoughts as encouragement because I don’t want you to stop writing. I truly enjoy your expressions.

  5. Feel free to email if you would like. I now have a contact page on my blog.

  6. Lmao! I have to admit you do look a bit like her. And that’s a good thing, girlfriend. I love Sissy Spacek. I fell in love with the bad romance movie she did with Kevin Kline in the 80’s – it’s one of geek out girl flicks.

  7. Another gem among the treasure chest filled to the brim with sparkling facets. “You wound me in ways you cannot understand/Ways I didn’t think existed..” This may be the truest statement about humanity ever penned.

  8. Loving those bull-in-a-china-shop types can sure take you through the wringer!

    BTW, that picture of Carrie is the best. It’s that oh-sh!t moment when everyone suddenly sees they are about to reap what they’ve sown the past years.

  9. This is a wonderful way of saying, So you intentionally hurt me and then have the never to ask why I bleed? Isn’t this always the finally thing that we always say would make us laugh if it didn’t hurt so much. Those people who look at us with confusion when they are the cause of the suffering.

    Amazing, Again. ❤

  10. Oh yes so very true! I have experienced this a couple of times and it’s almost unfathomnable but maybe as Rita once said, they don’t know what they do (or why?)

  11. I suspect they do…they just do not care…and they don’t know what to say when you show them what they’ve done…so they act oblivious.

  12. I think they do also. I mean I tried to believe they didn’t know, and in some instances I’m sure that is true, in others I see them do it too much and I know they’re being what is it? Passive aggressive? I know I have done that too in my life I’m sure of it, but I try to be upfront and honest, I think of what we talked about and how there is a code of honor one can live by – why is that so weird? I don’t think it is AT ALL

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