Sickness is my latest Paramore

She is more attentive

Less fickle

She sticks like late season honey to the insides of my fever dream

A purple moth with nectarine probiscis

She hears my chest rise and fall

Like carefully tilted chess pieces

Will release balance and find

Greater purchase in uneven defeat


I remain undefeated

As if by whim

A last horrah

Like a Rosy cheeked girl with retrouse buttocks

Tips her mirth at the crowd

Who in unisen rise 

Fat, thin, butter fingered and pianist

To cheer her abandon

As I turn my hot cheeks your way

Facing one another in the skeleton of dawn

I see your need of me

So insate and thundering

And though selfish mayhaps

I entreat

Pick another

I spent much time unraveling

Yet I remain

Stubborn and glassy eyed

A drunk patient of witchery

Somebody without many pockets

Containing Combs and honey

Yet my lips are sweetened by the shape

So simple and elongated

Of one more turn

On this thin ice

I bring

Few coins and less 

Courage than a child

But if you release me

I will have 

Remembered yet …

How to skate


38 thoughts on “Skate

  1. You possess far more courage than most of the people I know in this world. I miss you and love you very much. ❤ All my best, Shieldmaiden.

  2. You have been on my mind and heart of late so much. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I was to see this! Sending you much love, blessings and healing xxxxx

  3. Welcome back Candice it hasn’t been the same. I hope you are OK first off and if not please get better soon. Love the Rosy cheeked girl with retrousse buttocks.

  4. I know this one entry since your last probably was a struggle for you health wise… if you need anything let me know…hear for your dear…

    Your poem was piercing …. and not in a good way…. feel for you ….

    xo all my energy to you ..take it..

  5. Oh Candice, I keep hoping you’re better, finding some relief. You’ve been in my thoughts every day and will continue to be. Sending love – I’ll try to email you soon. ❤️

  6. Honey I would love you still even if you became an ugly old hag which you will NEVER EVER be! This is one of the BEST things you have ever written and it spells courage over and over again. You will make it through this and then baby watch out world because here comes one of the greats, personally and artistically!!! Don’t you ever give up or give in. The Lord has you in His sights and He will bring you out and through this for His glory! Je t’aime, Natalie 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  7. So relieved to read this poignant piece. It is quite amazing that, not much more than an hour ago, I e-mailed you because I was so concerned – then you answer with brilliance

  8. The answer to the questions in the photo is yes! Candice I hope you are ok, it has been so long, by the way, marvelous piece like always, I always get lost in your words, I missed that feeling

  9. SMiLes.. my friEnd.. sTiLL yes
    a friEnd Candice for a rather extended
    ride as online goes.. thefeatheredsleep..
    for those of us who go to Hell on Earth we
    find a common ill and treasure the fact
    that at our lowest point for whatever
    ill it is we are just
    alone allone
    in DaRk
    or LiGht
    as other
    meanings and purposes
    come and do go in life.. still
    ‘they’ say that ‘God’ does not
    put more on your plate at one
    time of now but perHaps they
    forget the Story of ‘Job’ for
    it is true the totally
    innocent go to and
    Stay too in Hell
    on Earth now too..
    for anyone who sees
    further than their polished
    Up Shoes and Towers and
    stuff like that.. best thing of all now
    all as i lost my smell since around
    Spring now and the Solar Eclipse as
    what i was hoping was is a Happy Eclipse
    And Fortune Cookie for World Love as my Desire
    then brought not only Hurricanes but Earth Quakes
    and a Doomsday Sweet Sick Smell lingering on.. now
    and Fires and even A Psychopathic leaning dude
    with automated gun fixes to kill more and nah
    not just one of this or that more than one
    Earth Quake.. 10 Hurricanes in a row
    as Record too latest one even in
    Ophelia Route with 80 Mph
    Winds to Ireland too..
    yes.. as reliably
    predicted by
    as ‘they
    say too
    Ophelia is
    was the Lover
    of Hamlet who
    went insane as
    a result then of his
    irrational behavior
    and in Greek the
    Name means ‘Help’..
    yes.. additionally now
    wild fires that continue
    to burn/kill.. O’yes.. Ms.
    Swift now is correct and
    add in the ingredients of
    Climate Change and not only
    do we have bad blood we have
    look what you made Nature do true..
    as more of the Climate Change Predictions
    continue to come true in the dark spice now that
    adds ingredients to more death and destruction now..
    but of course what matters when one is sick to death is
    mostly surviving if they can and will and nothing else.. what
    is in Hell is nothing nothing at all where even pain is welcome
    and nothing nothing at all can be found in feel or sense.. and even
    if you have a friend.. a wife who loves you there is an opaque window
    that feels and senses nothing at all if you are lucky too enough to feel
    pain at all.. no.. i cannot imagine your pain but as they say my friend still
    in the Beatle’s Song ‘will you still love me at 64’.. i will love you at 64 even if you
    are as sick(er) as you are now.. thing is for i must be strong enough as i do kNoW FeeL SenSE
    that it is just as important to Love those who have nothing left to give back at all.. at all.. nothing….@ALL
    Love iS EvenTuAlly thaT iS THE Savior that says we are Human after all.. other than that hope you feel better..:)

  10. Alan Watts tells us there is no black or white, there is black and there is white. We cannot hope to remain in one place, in a state of white or black eternally… we will fade in and out … that is paradox to our humanity!

  11. Because it’s not in your bones to give up… I don’t think it ever will be:

    “She sticks like late season honey to the insides of my fever dream

    A purple moth with nectarine probiscis

    She hears my chest rise and fall

    Like carefully tilted chess pieces

    Will release balance and find

    Greater purchase in uneven defeat


    I remain undefeated”

    You’re writing through it all–it’s beautiful that you are and I hope you can continue.

  12. Thank you. I never wish anyone to go thru disability or severe illness until you have, you don’t know how soul destroying it can be, yet also so much courage and resilience. I wish you the best health realistically possible and appreciate you reading 💓

  13. Such a brilliant and heartfelt poem sis.

    I’m so happy and glad your back. I was worried about you and thinking about you.

    I text you and wrote you by e-mail. Hope I hear from you by e-mail. Miss you sis. Please keep in touch.

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