Child of you


You may feel it in obvious ways

How he leans in with his enveloping strength

Or, in the thunder of your chest, riding imaginary horses with your best friend

Forgetful of arithmetic and teachers who felt you’d end your days in borstel, because you did like running rings around them didn’t you?

Regretting those petty rebellions later

Then in the crisp light and imagined stampede

You thrashed to the furthest point in your mind, bathed in fantasy

A place hard to reach, even splayed on cold Mexican tile, pretending your hand was his

Even, swimming underwater, until your lungs burned to surface

It was as if, once you grow up, the way back becomes harder

Like a secret language, only known to children, daunting you with tattered reminder

The tree house of your neighbor, as you take the prescribed walk, your cardiologist insisted upon

The first rain lillies urging through Texan soil against all odds, their impossible fragility, an exquisite reprieve from cracked earth

Have you gone so far child? As to forget the combination? Here where verbena and lemon grass pummel air with magic, here where you didn’t need anything 

But the cupping of your hands with wonderment, running through water like you were born again and again, emptied of harm, full of the vigor of not knowing, the beaten path to adulthood

35 thoughts on “Child of you

  1. The painful recognition when what had once been taken for granted has become eternally lost. The weariness of it all.

    Thanks for your writing. Your emotion is actually palpable.

  2. This poem is synchronously connected to what I wrote today and will publish tomorrow. I don’t know anyone who has made the transformation to adulthood unscathed. Is it a myth?

  3. I, Confess, that I, Never Fully let the child of me Go. Kind of like the reigns or the elastic to stop a child losing their mittens or a ribbon on a balloon. I kept a tight grip. I say confess, yet I am Not ashamed of it. So, I guess I, cannot rightly call it a confession. An endearing trait may be a better term. I am in a lot of ways maturer, however I have an innate balance of the two sides of me.

  4. Thank you. I really wasn’t sure if I would come out of the other side of this illness. I am still not sure but I am giving it my all. Your kindness means a lot as it’s been a horrible experience and friends are often the light in the darkness.

  5. Really, Candice? Oh my gosh, I had no idea… my heart goes to you…please keep writing, even in the worst times, even if a few words…let this community stay in touch and buoy you the best we can. And you know my beliefs, you aren’t alone dear Candice. And I know yours, but I will still pray for you, because I am mischievous that way haha
    πŸŒΈβœ¨πŸ€“πŸ˜€ (Don’t stop laughing ❀ )

  6. Your return brings with it a feather-touch softness and tenderness. I hope and pray you will continue to grow in strength on a journey to wellness πŸ™‚

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