Simply forward

How early morning light

Discovers a new pucker, a fine line

The crepe of hands unwrung from fear

Too many years I was hostage to you

Terror

Thinking age would only color more vivid

That anxious sickness, a trembling nerve

Raw to this unforgiving gallivant

Pills can only gloss over the root

Purple and bruised

It is not enough to look away

You will meet in unguarded moment

Yourself

Bilious with trepidation of this gift of life

We have 

Glass blowers of naught and much

Configured our trajectories

To eliminate handling this butchers theatre

We poise through fingers held before our eyes

Seeing segments and no practice of

Wholeness

Given to calm souls

Seeking just enough

I do not know how

To carve peace

Like a white horse out of chalky cliffs side

To stand as marker 

When the sea gathers her cockled skirts and rises

Over our heads

**

As a child I wet the bed

In roacharch patterns

One was a tiger

The other a shooting star 

And as I stood craning my neck to see 

The tiger clamped onto my small foot and dragged me beneath

Where only fear and marbles lay

Without direction or elucidate

My nightgown became a map bleached of purpose, bleating surrender

My hands grew like midnight iris, long and stray

Unable to capture magnification

**

We learn our hobble

We embrace killer 

Of playtime

Sketching devil’s from unknowns

Casting deep nets with myriad holes

Surely nothing alive

Shall follow our wake

As Persephone

It is in the silt at the bottom we stay

Conned by shadows into believing

The fur lined pockets of nightmares

** 

With this lantern

Pressed against a desire to scream

Abandon effort, rebuke change

For how foolish we feel

Naked again, starting over like blind mice

For how scared the taste

Of difference

So long appeased by secluded ideal

Poisoning thatched way

As we think we know, we undo

The signs and wonder

Glimmering in transit, should we observe

It is 

Never too late

To learn 

The effort of 

Fighting against

Fear

She only survives when

In our desperate cast we 

Feed her habit 

**

I turn 

Away

Lowering my hands from my face

Seeing without mask 

The fullness of being afraid

Staying steadfast

One foot in front of the other

Forms

Links of intention

A necklace

Keeping us together

Though wind and rain comes

We seek the hour when it will be

True

Unmade of nerved past

A natural walk 

Simply forward

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62 thoughts on “Simply forward

  1. You could have said only this and the message would’ve been loud and clear:

    “As a child I wet the bed

    In roacharch patterns

    One was a tiger

    The other a shooting star

    And as I stood craning my neck to see

    The tiger clamped onto my small foot and dragged me beneath

    Where only fear and marbles lay

    Without direction or elucidate

    My nightgown became a map bleached of purpose”

    However, you took it further and built on metaphors and analogies and amplified the poem’s strength. You do that well.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I love your long pieces.
    A raw and emotional writing but still expressed beautiful by you candy girl. You are in my prayers and I am cheering you on I know you are going to be ok. I believe it with all my heart I adore you. Keep on getting better but don’t over do it take your time writing will always be here but you my friend are more important. Love you :)soft bug hugs

    Liked by 4 people

  3. “She only survives when

    In our desperate cast

    We feed her habit”

    So true. Facing and knowing our fear we can respond from a different place but it does take nerve. I also used to wet the bed, and I know now how scared I was for so many years but that fear could never be known or expressed. Powerful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are such a kindness in my life, reading my work and your appreciation for my words – thank you so much. I hope you know I feel the same way and it is so empowering to encourage one another to keep going and writing it out. Thank you so much dear one, you are so appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest Betty, your support and kind emails helped me through a very dark time and I hope you know that is so appreciated and made a BIG difference not to mention keeping me afloat. Thank you. I am on a road to healing and I hope it will be a complete one. I am both grateful and changed, some of that for the better, as from darkness comes light. HUGE HUG to my dear friend whom I cherish

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Brilliance, pure brilliance!!! You never fail to dig down deep in those places of profound hurt in you and then like cream rise to the top triumphant and hopeful!!! I stand in awe and adoration!!! Love and hugs, N πŸ™‚ ❀ xoxoxoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest Purple Girl, today’s post touches on the why’s behind any insight or healing, and you are one who I must thank until the end of time for helping me through the darkness. Without which I don’t think I would have emerged. Thank you so much. I intend to thank you in person before too long, nothing less will do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure sweet girl. I hope you thank the Lord too for we were working hand hand to bring you through the darkness! I’m so thrilled that He answered my prayers and that you are finally coming back into the light! MUAH XOXOXOXOXO

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest Derrick, I must thank you my friend for your loyal keeping in touch during this rough sea. Your words as I felt I was drowning, were often a real beacon and I cannot underestimate the value of a caring soul when you are going through rough times. My recent post illustrates a little of this in the hope that things will change in our current medical field. Thank you so much. I am remaining positive and really feeling so. I am very, very, very grateful for YOU

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Candice , I am so so sorry you had to endure this ordeal. I had no idea you had been so ill..
    And I see this more and more through my USA WP family of friends happening within your healthcare system.
    I hope you are now well on the way to recovery.. And hope you continue to regain your strength.. And sending you love and healing thoughts Candice..
    Love and hugs Sue xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh! this page seemed to have jumped Candice as I was commenting upon your A room with a view post which at first refused to acknowledge me and said my comment was not approved.. I then tried again and landed up here.. xxx
    Sending love.. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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