Selfhood

Four and twenty years

The flower in the room

Lain closed

Was no more than dim statue

Vase without rose

Color without sight

Shape losing distinction

And those who sought its open

Knew not the riddle

And so the light that came

Was always mute

Hesitant on ringing cusp

So close to elucidate, yet

What we know .. can simply be words

Spoken without access

As skater will skim surface

Unbeknownst of depth

So our hearts may idle dormant

Through many turning seasons

Held in abayance as treasure is horded

Lost over time to silentio

**

Do not put off finding your source

Though deep it runs beneath the world

Gathering sediment, silt and clay

What shape will we form, when lifted out?

Held to inspection, as writhing newborn

The metal in our veins fastening

This soul of salt 

This fusion of minerals 

Cast against unwanted chessboard

Where all demand a role

How do we learn to wade?

The fridgid waters of other’s demands

Yolking us back to previous destination

When all we strive for is the warrior pose

Striking our way forward in certitude

It is hard to remain resolute

In the eye of other’s storms

To hold on when you are being tossed

Over the edge of plundering vessel

**

Yet

Remember

You were born in motion

Swimming before breath

Breath before word

And they baptized you, based on their own heaviness

And they spooled you out, cast wide into frothy sea

Attempting to repair themselves in their seizure, of your liberty

**

It is not, returning to them, you go

But the highlands

Where only those able to breathe thin air

Can survive 

Among the castaways and forgotten

You found yourself

Knew the piston of your core

For its oiled heart

Ticking over, even as you held your breath

These many years of half won life

**

Watch the glimmering sky dispose day and usher gloves of dark

As mime artist speaks in gestured dance

See the low swoop of heavy headed swallows

Break apart and like gloaming magnet, reassert

Their whole in sight of land, gleaming in shortening pathway

Just beyond marbled horizon, saturated in indigo pulse

Where all you always were, stands waiting

To be claimed, and shone, and worn

In the splendor of selfhood, eager to push forward and meet approaching dawn

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45 thoughts on “Selfhood

  1. “What we know .. can simply be words /Spoken without access/As skater will skim surface/ Unbeknownst of depth” and “It is hard to remain resolute/ In the eye of other’s storms” These lines are breathtaking, and the poem itself IS quite epic, I agree. Bravo and encore!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Peter, coming from you that means a lot. I see you as the Peter in the book we both read, and as such, he is wise and knows when things are ‘deep’ and interwoven. So if you say that it is, I tend to believe you. Thank you. It’s been a very trying four months I was brought to my knees by the sickness but I am fighting back and then some and in this fight I found a lot I did not know was there.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You should believe it, or better still know it! I feel this sense of a woman who rises again and again, knowing Sophia holds her in her heart … I have been drawn to Orgonon all my life. I am barely a days drive from there now. Perhaps this spring I will finally make my pilgrimage! Rise, knowing there is love that surrounds you.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Speechless! You have rendered me almost speechless with this one! As I read each line I saw the phoenix stirring and beginning to rise from the ashes to new life, new appreciation, new hope, and a new birthing of a true and confident self standing like a colossus and the entrance of what had been and yet turning to face all that would be, the finest fruits of all that you are!!!! Je t’aime et je t’adore, N 🙂 ❤ xoxoxoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow I rendered you speechless! I must have done something right! (Or very wrong!) 🙂 Wow TCU really bombed in their last game I shouldn’t have said anything! Oh well! Thank you dear one xo I totally meant the phoenix in that way you completely got it xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was very right. It was so brilliant that I hardly could think of anything worthy to say of it! TCU was playing OU which is where my granddaughter is in school. So we were sad for the loss but she was delighted. You’re so welcome love. It’s good to know I got something completely
        right! Je t’aime❣️😘xoxoxo

        Liked by 2 people

    1. I confess that since getting a little better I have been walking every day and because of the time of year the countryside and the walks I have taken remind me so much of England. I believe it influences my writing. Thank you for so many things not least just BEING YOU because you are a true friend.

      Liked by 1 person

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