Only then

Thinking about strength

What will it take

To change out the crumpled suit

You’ve worn almost to death

Though not yet

It isn’t death you should fear

But not living

Being incapsulated

In redundant urge

Truth is waiting 

Like a small round shouldered girl

Watching herself reflect in cold river

If she jumps she may drown

But staying still is often worse

Easy to ignore when new to the dance

Easy to neglect when all is going well

We learn in adversity

We become more of our stalagmite

Or something transformed

It’s the decisions keeping us from knowledge

A rare moment, often painful, offers the shove

Over a cliff, out of comfort

On our knees begging for Mercy

But she is no God

We carve identity and battle from our own leather

Skinned of illusions

We stand dripping and terrified without defense

Only when it’s all stripped down, pared to the thinnest slice

Believing we cannot survive

That moment

We learn again

To truly fly

For Rick.

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23 thoughts on “Only then

  1. If this is for the “Rick”, I am thinking of, he will be over-the-moon when reading this.

    “If she jumps she may drown

    But staying still is often worse

    Easy to ignore when new to the dance

    Easy to neglect when all is going well

    We learn in adversity”

    Of late, the strength I see now in your work has an added dose of survival and a kinship to challenge in it. That is a blessing.

  2. Yes, one and the same mutual friend and warrior, we’ve both been battling and circling the drain, sometimes those who have gone through it as I know you also have, are the most compassionate and understanding. I recognize I understand now, much which I did not, when good health was mine to take for granted. Trying to be positive as it’s what I have to hold onto right now. Thank you for your spirit, I do feel it.

  3. You’re welcome. I don’t know you to be one who taps out or quit often. He isn’t one, either. A proper dedication to him. You’re doing what you can. You’re surviving, you’re pretty much doing it for much more now. Hang in there.

  4. Oh Candice this is one of your most beautiful poems. Every word of it resonates. The other day I got a poetry image of my grief as an overcoat I could now keep on the back of the chair taking it off and putting it back on, no longer with is sewn to my skin. Its amazing how your unconscious found the same image. I just adore this poem.

  5. Beautifully inspiring, Candice. A poem that encourages and emanates truth; one that helps us look down at our own bootstraps and realize we can pull ourselves up via meta-strength and rebirth. We can be like the Phoenix, and your poem gives us the will to try. 💓💕

  6. Such powerful images in this inspiring poem. I particularly loved

    “Truth is waiting

    Like a small round shouldered girl

    Watching herself reflect in cold river”

    And the stalagmite line is amazing.

    Your poem gave me a boost after a very difficult day. Thanks!

    Nikita
    x

  7. This has resonated and tugged on my heart. This is absolutely amazing. You have a wayou of putting emotion into powerful truth of poetry.

    Thank you for sharing sweet candy. Love love love you forever my incredible friend.
    Take care of yourself and remember you are strong and wonderful I believe in you.

  8. A myriad of great images – great poem. Here’s one that stood out for me:

    “We learn in adversity

    We become more of our stalagmite

    Or something transformed”

    I’m glad I discovered your poetry. Thanks.

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