Cabello

Little boy

I liked it in the summer time when you didn’t cut your hair

until a smiling girl said you looked a lot like her

(she meant it as a compliment, she loves her hair)

even then … as young as you are

it was an insult and you hacked off your locks

with giant metaphoric scissors, cutting out injury

(is it truly the worst thing in the world to be mistaken for a girl?)

is it the perceived notion of weakness? An insult of gender roles?

and what of the dream, to roam free of such things?

in a place where beautiful boys can grow curls

and girls with treehouses, don’t get rope burn on the way down

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29 thoughts on “Cabello

  1. Yes, we have been socialized for centuries and if a little girl or boy steps out of those perimeters they get bullied or chastised by their parent and people in society. Most of those keep hush and gossip behind their backs. Lovely write

  2. The spiritkeeper nailed it, our society has demonized any appearance of what they perceive to be weakness or not manly in boys rather than teaching them about the strengths and beauty of the opposite gender. Such a pity, such a shame, such a burden. Beautiful write Feathers.

  3. This reminds me of a child who was in the same class at school with my youngest from the maternelle. Nobody knew if it was a boy or a girl, and nobody cared! It was a tall, stocky kid with long, almost waist-length untidy hair, always wearing army fatigues and with a boy’s name. I thought it was a girl and so did lots of other people. The kids at school said it was a boy because it peed in the boys’ toilets, but none of the kids gave a toss about Mathis’s gender. It just wasn’t an issue.

  4. Pride. Embarrassment. Insecurity. The list can go on and on. Not to mention how society has such a stronghold on gender roles. This is a great poem, Candice. Nicely done.

  5. Aw thank you. This was one I wrote a while ago and it was in my ‘not good enough’ pile, I ran out of ‘good enough’ poems a while ago and went through the ‘not good enough’ pile and that’s what I’m publishing presently until the inspiration returns 🙂 It is good to know it had some value.

  6. Right? It should be that way. Not an issue. How many times I have hoped the future will be that way. I know we talk of the negatives in the future, we know those only too well, as well as what they won’t have but there are some good things about the future, namely and hopefully, an end to such restrictions. I recall as a kid it was very much a negative to not identify strongly with your gender of birth, so it’s a lovely idea that it would cease to be as important. That’s a great story

  7. Ah yes that is so true and I am so glad you liked this dearest Holly. It is a shame but I do think it’s getting better and future generations won’t have it so hard. Reminds me of the Well of Loneliness by Radcliffe Hall and how hard it must have been for her.

  8. So very true. Thank you so much for reading and your lovely words. We have been deeply socialized, it would be great to know what we would be like if we hadn’t been. I suspect one day we will as newer generations seem to be letting go of all of this nonsense. Hopefully.

  9. It’s the children who set the example. So many of them have parents who go spare at the idea of having school textbooks where boys and girls DO THE SAME THINGS! Imagine, Girls being firefighters, Premier Ministre, footballers, PDGs. What about their poor sons? What’s in this equality lark for them?

  10. EXACTLY! I didn’t know how sexist it was growing up until I looked back but it was AWFUL when I grew up so I cannot imagine how much worse earlier generations were. Now I feel there is change, and you’re right, the children have to be the example. The inequality lark though goes too far, I don’t like same-gender bathrooms because BOYS ARE MESSY and I do think there are some things reserved for one gender or another, or that do one gender out of something but in a way it has to be exploded to be re-built?

  11. It does have value. And really, it’s better to put what we may think isn’t “good enough” out into the universe and get outside opinions. We, as Writers, are often our worst critics. You’re welcome.

  12. True. But sometimes I really write shite. That’s just how it is. Sometimes I can’t believe what I write. So I do self-censor just a TAD and believe me it’s a good thing! ha ha ha! I wrote you a long email earlier sorry! Couldn’t help it! xo

  13. No worries. I responded. Eh, everything isn’t going to be perfect or good. That’s just how it is sometimes.

  14. The toilets for the under elevens are all unisex here and I don’t see the problem. Brothers and sisters share at home, so why not at school? Boys should learn not to be messy when they share facilities and they should be called out if they are. So there 🙂

  15. Yes I agree about kids probably hadn’t thought of that. I only object when ADULT MEN pee on the toilet regularly and around the toilet regularly —- it is argghhhh! And don’t get me started on not flushing! Not saying some women can’t be awful bathroom users too but I have noticed an uptick in gross bathrooms post-unisex. You’re right about being called out but how to do this with adult men? It might be quite fun! I laughed so hard at ‘so there’ naughty naughty!

  16. I agree the toilets in hospitals and trains are pretty disgusting, but I wouldn’t like to say who or what is responsible. It’s hard to imagine anyone making a public place filthy and just leaving it like that but that’s people for you 🙂

  17. So true. I have absolutely no idea why someone thinks leaving a place like that is acceptable, that is until I went house hunting and saw people actually leave their own toilets that way! ARGH!

  18. Love this one! I too have hope for the future as many young people accept the gender bending and don’t really care who others identify. Unfortunately, many still condemn.

  19. Urk! I’ve only ever visited houses that have been left hyper clean and tidy, but I’ve seen photos that an estate agent has thought enticing of absolute slums, bedrooms with the bed unmade and clothes and bicycles (true) lying on the floor, bathrooms with wet towels slung all over the place, and there was one ad that had finished with a close up of the actual toilet bowl as if to prove that there really was sanitation in this unsavoury kip!

  20. Some time ago I had occasion to tell a colleague that my daughter, Louisa, aged 4, on being given an ironing board, had said “just like Daddy’s”. The response was that it was sexist to have given her it

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