As you may imagine

She was known as the girl with the waist length hair

The girl without siblings

The girl with turquoise eyes

She had a 23 inch waist

Those were the paper cut emblems of her life

She was vain

Though not empty headed

Her vanity was a poor replacement

Covering up loneliness and uncertainty

Perhaps if she’d had children, the size of her waist

Would have seemed so trivial

But she stayed in that sticky fingered past, sucking on old boiled candy

Where teenagers plume and forage

Because she found no other purchase

And that was sad and pathetic and lost and theatrical

And it was understandable

To those who like her

Watching themselves through glass

Like half packed suitcases

No hope chest

Using the acutrements to fill empiness

With

Costumes and colors and measurements

Because what her true circumference was

She had no idea

And how people could love her for more

Than the length of her hair

Or her green eyes

Or the width of her waist

She couldn’t fathom

Having only been

Nothing

Then no one

Then an object

People commented on

And touched her hair

And fit their envy around her waist

And smiled into her big eyes

And then

That attention gave her meaning

Shallow and superficial

Like eating too many chocolates

And spurring the taste

Swearing never

To gorge again

But she would

When the obscurity of being alone grew too much

She’d wear a fine dress

Put on eyeliner and lipstick and heels

And suddenly everyone saw her

And she was not a girl in the shadows

Waiting for her mom to come home

Or anyone

This

Is

The

Reason

For

Vanity

It’s not always as simple and egocentric as

You may imagine

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14 thoughts on “As you may imagine

  1. You do such a great job of showing us the reflection of our onion skinned infatuations.

  2. This is my third attempt to comment, including ‘Eleanor Rigby’ – I won’t try the video this time, but just say this is a multi-layered depiction of loneliness

  3. I feel so sorry for her and others — both girls and boys — who get hung up on the outward appearances someone told us we should treasure and desire.

  4. how right you are my friend it is a disease just like anorexia or any type of body dysmorphia, and it is a societal one. i have long admired those who go against the grain but for women especially it is hard and increasingly for everyone who is sucked into the plastic population where we admire what should not be admired and do not admire what should

  5. I very much enjoyed this and can very much relate. Without going into it too deeply on the public forum of a blog comment string, I can say that the notion of (visual) attention bestowing meaning has been all over my consciousness lately–it is absolutely most certainly not always as simple and egocentric as we may imagine…

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