she wasn’t like them, so they didn’t like her
to her face they smiled and said ‘nice things’
which she knew were lies
behind her back they laughed
and made dirty-lezzie jokes
because it made them uncomfortable
to think about what they thought she did
it made them feel a bit disgusted
like when you stand too close
…
she looked like them in superficial ways
wore at times, nicer dresses and had longer hair
the fact that she liked girls wasn’t in their
comfort zone
when it was summer time they had
BBQ’s and invited all the neighborhood kids
wondering if she would be safe around minors or
would do something inappropriate
when they started a mommy running club
she wasn’t invited because she was neither
a mommy or someone they wanted to
bare their secrets with
what would she understand of husbands?
maybe their husbands liked her
because she was unavailable
when it was Halloween they made candy and
knocked on all the doors but hers
because the other mothers said best to avoid
what they did not care to know
…
that’s why she lived a harder life than she had to
for there is almost nothing worse than pretend friendliness
leaving you more alone than if they said what they thought
and spat in your face
if you think that’s an exaggeration or she feels
sorry for herself
think on the tiny percent of the world
where being gay is safe or legal
and the huge part of the world where it is forbidden or punished
think on how many lament at
the shift in culture toward acceptance
calling it a ruination of our society with all
those damn fags
compare it to those who truly feel inclusive
how every day isn’t the same
when you have to contend with not fitting in
making everyone else feel uncomfortable
just by existing
nor can you talk about what matters to you
just in-case visual images abound and people
begin to change the subject
…
if it were a choice … a lifestyle … few would make it
yet she exists
wishing sometimes the phone would ring
another girl like her would say
I know how you feel
would you like to go for a walk?
she is a gay princess in a tower
and her princess
is somewhere in the world perhaps
thinking the same thoughts
two outsiders
unable to find each other
Especially loved the ending to what is a very emotionally touching poem! Well done, C!
Right now, this resonates so much…
“for there is almost nothing worse than pretend friendliness
leaving you more alone than if they said what they thought
and spat in your face
if you think that’s an exaggeration or she feels
sorry for herself
think on the tiny percent of the world
where being gay is safe or legal
and the huge part of the world where it is forbidden or punished”
Appropriate title to accompany some powerful words.
How sad that anyone should have to live like that in 2018. Beautifully written though 😀
Powerful story
This is incredible. I connect to it so much. I also love reading “gay” as if it means gleefully happy — because after all, most people prefer to talk about, and feel, misery over true childlike playfulness and joy.
Well done. Maybe someday the world will accept what is completely natural.
As far as I’ve ever been able to tell, my brain is hard-wired Hetero, and that makes it easy to understand that someone else’s is wired another way (any of several other ways). So, I’ve never felt threatened by those who have that difference and sometimes want to yell of behalf of friends, “It’s not a choice, and it’s not contagious, and it’s none of your business, you damned fools.”
Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
TheFeatheredSleep – Someone excluded
Thank you. Hardest write in a while as I find it hard to get away from thinking i’m being too whiny but it’s on a far bigger scale than anything to do with myself. Thank you for appreciating my effort.
Just wrote you a very belated email I had a relapse so I haven’t been very well but I did just write you sorry for the delay. Yes I agree w/u that it is hard to imagine most of the world, the majority, is this way, sometimes that blows my mind. I did think some people may take this as a mememe poem and it wasn’t meant to be at all but a world-poem about how so many feel. I guess a lot of the time people don’t want to hear it, don’t want to go there, but that is exactly why they should
Thank you friend. It is sad. I know my sadder subject poems are never as well received but they are necessary to talk about, for those small percentile who experience this, are part of us all and it is not going to change until we do face it rather than thinking everything is okay. Thank you for reading I really appreciate that
A story that few ever tell because it’s not cool it’s not PC it’s not even interesting to most, hence why I felt it necessary. Thank you so much for reading it I appreciate that
Thank you so much for reading this. It is a story that will not go down well, it will not be popular or even liked, it will cause people to sigh and say ‘enough already’ but the thing is, for those who experience this, there is no enough already, it may be boring to the rest of the world but it really affects those people every single day, I guess I see poetry as being a vehicle to express truths, though I know many of my truths are not what people want to hear this is why they ought to. Thank you so much for reading
Thank you Michael for reading. I agree. But I am not sure they will any more than they accept other ‘minorities’ which of course are only minorities because they are told they are. It seems people en mass don’t want to be including they want to exclude. I realized as I wrote it that people may have ugly thoughts in their heads reading it, I have been told so many times to shut up about such subjects, it’s like JUST DO NOT SAY IT but that is exactly why I do, because as hard as it is, it must be said so someone else can understand what it really feels like. I think until you understand you can’t see why it would matter. Empathy is everything but it’s in short-supply in our world. thank you for being one of the minority in that you care xo
Ah I wish you would. The point here though is how it can ruin so much, just in tiny minor ways, how many times this exact story has been shared with me, the loneliness the isolation the peripheral. It may not seem so bad compared to starving children or genocide but it is a death of sorts, it is a cruelty and I know as I write it, people roll their eyes, and sigh, and pass over it, but I also know if it doesn’t matter to write something like this, what does matter? Sometimes I want to write what will be popular but then I think about what writing really is about and for me, it’s not always entertainment so much as nourishment of the soul and surely that includes how it really is. It is extremely hard for me to be this honest I don’t do it for attention I do it because I think it is the right thing to do even if one person changes as a result. Thank you for your support
We’re all people, just wanting to love and be loved. Not everyone loves the same.
There is a compelling simplicity to this piece of art (your writing truly is) – I’ll not say too much other than you’ve paused my evening, given cause to think, not many do that, Candice … Eric.
What’s not in short supply is ignorance. That’s why posts like yours are badly needed.
You are so skilled at displaying the awkwardness, and isolation, and pain of one who is not accepted. Although this poem is specifically about the experiences of a gay woman, the feelings behind it can be applied universally to any of us who are made to feel like an outsider, because something about us is different. Thank you for sharing this.
So beautifully penned ❤️
You can come visit me too, if you want to.
hannaglance.blogspot.com
It’s not always open, but for now …
And I think your truths are very much what people want to hear. I do, at least. I love your work. Always. I worry when you go a few days without posting.
Thank you SISTER
You are so right my friend, it can apply to anything. A friend of mine who is African American and feels left out because she is told she is too white to be black by black folk and too dark to be white by white folk, or a woman I know who is disabled and feels nobody really wants to hang with her, as it’s ‘a hassle’ or a man I know who is blind. I know my experiences are nothing compared to those things, at the same time as you so rightly say they are universal experiences some of us have, and they can be very damaging. I have always had a radar for the left-out person ever since I was a kid, I’d try to be with them so they would not hurt. Thank you for appreciating this as it was hard to write, you are a lovely person my friend
Those are lovely and much appreciated words my friend and I am lucky to call you a friend
Dear Eric thank you – I love your words and your kindness
How right you are. It is good when people can show mercy to others that’s for sure.
Aren’t you on WP as well as BlogSpot? I find it hard to see your blog on my phone but I will try on my computer – thank you dearling
❤️
The desire to make themselves feel better by tearing down another person rather than lifting them up, or letting them be
People rarely change, but a person can change
It’s important to share, discuss, and explore. The relevance is crucial, especially now.
Yes, we should just treat everyone with the same care and respect
Imagine. The funny thing is it’s possible but only if people were kind enough to let go of the desire they must have to be unkind.
Very true. If we all kept quiet, well it wouldn’t end well would it?
And when a strong enough person changes, he or she influences many others.
Likewise
Nope.
Your quill is sharp, your ink magical. Top drawer all the way!!
Exactly
Wise words. I agree. Group mentality doesn’t shift but one person can
Sooner or later, no doubt, I’ll get my chance. I do feel the importance of sharing work like this by you and others who know better than I do, even though I suspect I’m mostly preaching to the choir. Still, even the choir needs support.
I’m no leader but I admire those who have that powerful personality and can change minds for the good. Then of course there’s the reverse!
👍🤗
Sadly, the reverse often takes power and sets the tone of society
I really like this. It is fabulous
So well put. I think the biggest problem is having to define oneself by one’s sexual orientation
Often it is a fear of the unknown. As if the person who is ‘different’ is somehow a threat. To what? They probably do not even know….
So beautiful, so sad, so true. Shame on the world no way is wrong it’s just different 💜🌹🤗
A very poignant tale, It is the 21st century and still you have to hide your sexuality I find it so sad!
I pity them, she is Beautiful.