The light beneath the door

Remember when they used to bug your phone

The sound of rolling open polymer handpiece

Secrets folded in purring circle

Click, click, can aches be fixed?

What if you died

And left me a note

What would it say?

Who stands as muse

Now life has fled, her stockings shred

And bottles are emptied without drinking

I think the blood of us is watching

The shard of darkness cutting swaths of fracture across your face

Full days don’t exist

Come back here

To the light beneath the door

What does it do to beckon from shadow

If you paint from a photo, you capture no movement

Just faces in gouache

Stainless steel and fascimile reflection

A few minutes fooling ourselves

Nothing was sacred
Not even one thing?

If the lie was eaten

Did it vanquish all the time I spent, believing it

Was I the lie?

Inhabiting falsehood and words that curled like suppliant flesh

Weren’t you there with the needle?

Obsession

The other players were faking

Plunge the sharp, feel holy numbness

I’d follow you into the hollowed mountain of your madness and my error

For of emptied places only, you reign

Heartless and ready to start over new

As if nobody had existed and nothing was sacrificed

Memory in hose and mask plays her tricks

Writes a new damask script

And obedient

You condemn

Throw me tender under bus

With falsehoods and generalization

It feels like it did the first time

That’s when I knew

And still

I let you in, to scouge and vanquish, remove me by rubbing

Those promises

I didn’t beg for them

You gave freely in pretend

Though each one wasn’t meant

Then you went to church with a clear conscience

Because only Catholics have to repent

I was an addict and I didn’t know

My drug was you. My drug was you

My drug was you. My drug was you

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “The light beneath the door

  1. For some reason, this reads like a relief piece. An “I’ve just got to get it out” piece… I hope it was.
    “Was I the lie?
    Inhabiting falsehood and words that curled like suppliant flesh
    Weren’t you there with the needle?
    Obsession
    The other players were faking
    Plunge the sharp, feel holy numbness
    I’d follow you into the hollowed mountain of your madness and my error
    For of emptied places only, you reign
    Heartless and ready to start over like fresh
    As if nobody had existed and nothing was sacrificed
    Memory in hose and mask plays her tricks
    Writes a new damask script
    And obedient
    You condemn
    Throw me tender under bus
    With falsehoods and generalization
    It feels like it did the first time”
    The ending lines?! Yaaasss!

  2. Did I tell you I love your long pieces?
    Well I do. Your words are like a river ever flowing beautifully.
    Nourishing our minds with truth and hearts with compassion.
    Love you candy girl.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s