Perhaps you dreamed of me

kissingA few people said / write something succinct / shorter than your usual / elaborated rhetoric / don’t you know how to / edit and be precise in your / measurement of words / good writers don’t need / verbal diarrhea / they can mold meaning / certain as bending copper / to light.

She thought it over

Knowing it was possible

After all she’d written some very

Shaved and glutted poems

Once.

 

(It wasn’t her way and if you are not true to your way

then you may as well be another lemming / willing to leap / from cliffs edge

of course this precludes learning which is / a value immeasurable

sometimes you can learn everything and still / go back to drawing unrealistically).

 

Finding something – – – perhaps it’s not a poem or a form but a short story

In the elongation and manipulation of reality and precision. Imprecise then. Deliberately.

 

Long ago she had no words because she couldn’t spell well enough to write. So she drew. For hours. Reels of paper. Stories by picture. Things she needed to say. To no one listening.

When she saw Woman In A Red Armchair hanging in a burgundy room / the silence palpable aside / rain hammering outside / mercilessly / like a hundred mouths clamoring

she tried not to stare at the line that made the woman / female

but was drawn to it as she might have been / a real breathing woman

something exquisite and desirable / she longed to see a live flesh and blood girl

to touch her with her empty hands and run them over her / quivering flesh

until those colors swelled up / and she cried out / for the sheer torment and beauty

but

no girls existed / save those who / liked boys / there were plenty of them

why were they all heterosexual?

why wasn’t she?

In America she heard / there are entire schools / devoted or a byproduct perhaps / lesbians / and only-girls-schools / well don’t start on them …

living in the city / you’d think but you’d be wrong / a few pinches / mostly shorn / forlorn

empty eyed / emulating men / less female than / those who wanted to lie beneath them.

Where existed that / judge not / beauty / with /dark eyes

the missing / beat / savor / prosper / sail

to her / soul.

If she could have / found her all along / not searching years but moments / glimpsed

sight and immediately / both knew / this bond before / words spoken

even at 13

even before she were born

perhaps you dreamed of me

created in the stillness of your loneliness / that which you did not have / filling emptiness with yearning / I am born to be / the wet ink on your skin / a permanence / no longer waiting / arms outstretched / for dreams unnecessary / now we / are.

Never quite together / torn asunder / this year the blackcurrents come later / as if they knew / what wonders and nightmares / store / waiting behind the pitch / to come rushing / we tried / we failed / the frailty of emotion / it bleeds easily / like thin skin / gone a-blackberrying / on a listless day / no clouds nor movement / sky dim / with unspent rain / the longing stored up / causing pain.

Perhaps you dreamed of me.

I stood — uncertain — proud backed —

against the light

where shape can be outlined

most acutely

if then you’d looked — ephemeral — something unstated

in muted expression

what we do not say — what we hold inside — contains the greatest

message.

Return to me. Though you are gone. Through the shroud. Time be gentle. Time be cruel.

Different and the same. Recollecting nothing. There is the proof. Stained on our table. Where you cut yourself. On a sharp knife of desire. And I opened to you. Ballet within music. Rapture closed us together. Forgotten. How do you not remember.

That long night we ran barefoot?

Flowers close their drowsy heads. Against night. Sleep. An eternity. Wakening. We are

strangers. Again.

Loss. A pressed red petal against Italian paper. Seeking its watering. I am so thirsty for your return. My love.

34 thoughts on “Perhaps you dreamed of me

  1. I love this! Absolutely love it. Your way is your way and it is beautiful. I find when I fight the way the words want to come out, it never turns out well.

  2. True to your way, you draw me into those pictures ;written on labyrinthine walls and lead finally to knowing the flavor of that thirst for a love’s return.

  3. Your writing is exquisite. Your beautiful spirit folded into each verse. I’ve never found your work too long to read. I’ll read you forever ❤

  4. Thank you so much. I was told recently I write too much and should edit more. But I deliberately write this way (as I am an editor I know how to edit to make it read shorter or more succinct but I don’t want to) and so I suppose this was born from that, and also the desire to express something through differing mediums. Thank you so much both for reading and for your support it means a great deal to me. I appreciate you and hope you are keeping well.

  5. Thank you! I was told recently to write more succinctly but I write as I write deliberately I was using varied forms to show this but really then just be me ultimately! I think when we get afraid of being ourselves we lose ourselves, that is not to say we cannot learn or improve though.

  6. Always welcome. So far, it is still on. The area hasn’t been hit hard yet. I’m figuring at least a 50/50 chance it will get cancelled and rescheduled “eventually”. Thanks for checking. ❤

  7. We all have our style, and to find one’s voice is key to delivering our meaning. This is a fine piece, and I do like your use of the ‘/’ to demarcate your train of thought.

  8. Yes, you are an editor, but you are more, as your gift is “spelling” magical spell-ing. Thinking of you, and always sending healing energy you way. We are well, taking Shinrin-yoku walks, and trying to keep peace in our lives. Always enjoy how your words share your heart. Be well my friend ! ❤️

  9. Wow I can’t believe you would read it three times. That is so very, very kind of you. I tend not to write really long pieces all the time but my latest one I posted today – The Bridge – is the longest poem I have written I believe and you will see why if you read it. I am so grateful to you. Thank you dearly for your time and your support.

  10. M, that’s the loveliest and most supportive thing anyone has ever said. THANK YOU I know you are a lovely person but you also made me so happy just by the kindness of your words. I am so glad we are friends.

  11. P, thank you so much, I am so grateful to you for reading my work. I know sometimes it is quite labored and I appreciate you for taking that time and effort. I hope you are doing okay, in this madness time. Be well also my friend. Do drop me a line if you have a second and let me know how you are? Sending you much love.

  12. Very well said and thank you. I try. I wanted to demarcate (great word) because I was making a point but then it falls into my usual style. Thank you – for the gift of you.

  13. Thank you. That means everything to me. I wrote a piece just recently that’s my last post The Bridge and it is VERY long and I knew many people would say oh goodness that’s not a poem it’s too long but I felt it was necessary for the story and so … ultimately I can only be me. Thank you for appreciating where I’m coming from. It helps me carry on.

  14. My dad had a procedure canceled they are really shutting down over there, and SA just recently locked down today so we’re going into full restrictions. How about where you are? I have been thinking of you

  15. It is so good to see you here! And I am sending you lots of love hoping you are well. Thank you for taking a look at my work. And for letting me smile at you from afar my talented friend. xxxx

  16. Thank you – wow – I wonder what I did to deserve this? I was nervous about writing the piece for Kristi The Bridge. Because it is very long but I felt, necessary and then I thought of Pantheon which is long but so necessary and that helped me write the length I needed to write! See what you do?

  17. You are too kind – and I understand how this works: I do try to write differently at times, yet almost unerringly fall back into my natural style (what ever that might be!).
    Mutual appreciation. Sounds good.

  18. Exquisitely written and oohhh how I felt every line deep inside. Many of the same thoughts I myself have had. You know just how to say things, to create the emotions, and to do so delectably. 💕

  19. Hey love. I posted something about YOU today on WP I hope you see it. I am so so proud of you and I hope you always know that. I will support you eternally with your missions and your goals – you are incredible

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s