Apparently
there are rules
I’ve been told I can’t write about emotions
that refer to others pain or lives
in any way
because
how dare you take a person’s life and convey it
as a cheap writer of someone’s suffering
what a monster! What do you know?
I had better not post stupid photos or true thought
it’s trite & cruel like the worst of humanity
(or so they said … foaming at the mouth with vengeance in their throat )
saying certain things are off the table
without realizing
they weren’t about you / but this one is
sometimes I write about something that never happened
or occurred only in my mind
or felt like it did almost, not quite
or did but to someone else where-upon
I shine a light to diminish neglect
rarely is this clear, when it is
spelt out
that’s my right to speak without muzzle
it isn’t fabricated with thorns but
allegory & beseeching for a better world of kindness
instead of the easy hand of hate & scorn
but I’m tired
I’m really tired
of backlash against thought
of being told I’m shallow, unoriginal, borrowed or naive
that rules are preferable & if you quote
make sure it’s the Greeks or high fellow in poetic device
otherwise you’re just a stupid girl thinking you have a right
to inhabit quill
yeah
I’m not made of your thick hide or
snow-proof snarl
I don’t like fights, madness, melodrama
or people who thrive on cutting
into ribbons of beef jerky
I am not a bitch who gives as good as she gets
let others inherit that mantel
if indeed such a crown exists
I’d rather just close my mouth
say less
until words seem largely
irrelevant
bullies have a way of
closing down the best of us
silence
reigns
you almost
succeed in
quenching
the
fire
then from nothing comes something
fizzing in dark
starting over
a thought is bid
if you are a writer … even a terrible one
(borrow a word use one of yours thrown at me in scorn, which one? Inferior, awful, shallow, pretender, what else would you like to call?)
you can’t ever stop because someone hates you
you think you’re original in your loathing? All the world hates someone
therein LIES THE RUB
you have to write through fear
we would do nothing if every disapprobation stayed our desire to realize
when you run from every sleight of hand or slap you may as well stand back watching life diminish in your palm
a real strong soul will never be rewarded by universal confirmation
ugliness of former friends turning to enemy is more our modern trend
(they do it so well, those closeted thieves of light)
condemnation cusped about envy
gargoyles of indifference & spite
the sport some merrily make of others
they hunt with willing malice
(learning; you hurt, so I shall hurt you, to see which part flinched and quivers beneath my knife)
for no reason other than they are inquirers of vivisection
(when you know a person you know their weaknesses, it’s an easy back door to reach for sharpened blade)
so
please stay away
lose my number
do not read
pick another mark
shoot your arrows at
a mirror or reflection
that’s the guilty party
who turns full circle from victim to abuser
as paedophiles will claim
I didn’t mean to harm it was taught me
maybe
but choice we have
hurting those you can when smarting from pain
isolates you
in the ugliness of
becoming
just like them
(this is for https://boldbeatandnipless.com/ because this brave and courageous woman has been tormented by haters and it sickens me so much so I write this for her and out of my own experience of having had two haters in the last few years (fortunately they are a bad memory now) and the cry for this to stop being acceptable in our society alongside bullying and any shallow form of undermining truth and honesty)
TheFeatheredSleep 