This is what I’d say
If we were speaking
If cellos played ambrosial
If those who said they were alone actually knew what alone meant
This is what I’d say
To the ancestors with sepia faces
To the full family tables I could never navigate
The empty drive, unfilled road, the lack of fake
I’d say
I can’t do pretense
Or big events
broken pipes
yellow light
Or changing people
False words
Mislaid purpose
I would say I couldn’t get on with you
We fought like siblings
Though both were singletons
The vibration of only children with no children
I would say I became angry when you lied
When you faked who you were
When you got suckered by people stupider than you
When you lived in your pretend world
Whilst I ate and feasted on blisters
I would say those from wealth and those from basalt cannot understand
The empire
Of emptiness
A track road with lisping night creatures
And desert burning into mirage
I would say it seems at times
Futile to try to get close
to anyone
But I felt serried to you
That’s likely why I got so churlish
Why I stopped talking
Said nothing
Because betrayal comes unconsciously for most of us
In the voluble let downs and unseen affronts
Like a storm threatening, then retreating
Electricity in verging air
Reminding us of bigger purpose
Points of tangency and points of equilibrium
The hour until we ease into contiguous dying
The way you assumed I’d believe what you believed
I never did
I carry a heart with wormholes in it
The rain lets out
You get out
I drive on
In the mirror of oil on the road
I see you understand
I would say we were the same
Not even at different ends
Just burning with curved impulses
That quench the other
As I look in your eyes
I see myself
And it hurts and unsettles me
Worse than my own reflection
TheFeatheredSleep 