Tag: #endure
Endure
Along with recovery
I had wished
For one neighbor’s heart to heal, as he tried to mend a leak
Another, to survive the scouge of sudden cancer
For the little bird to find her red box
Fill it with branches and lay her eggs
Nestled blue against the hope of frail humans
For rebirth and warmer days
When the winds were the only thing to die
And maybe the scold in a voice, twisting the knife
Yes, wish it away, along with traces of fear
You have survived the winter, you are still here
The same curled toes and cold fingers, clinging on
If you don’t die, you live, and that’s what you find
As false friends fall and new are born
As spring gathers her skirts and grass turns from brown to hopeful green
As your neighbor touches your hand and his eyes speak
Of the simple gratitude of caring
You didn’t receive it where you thought it would be
There are branches higher up than you can see
Maybe the little bird right now is looking for her nesting
And just like you, she seeks the comfort of knowing
If you make your home warm and secure
They can huff and puff
But you will
Endure
Those fierce moments in between
The day will come
THE DAY WILL COME
when you fall and feel you cannot get up
and when that day comes and feels like it’s won
you will pull yourself
inch by inch, of broken spine
cry by cry, scream by scream
until you stand
TALL AGAIN
and when that day comes
you will think on this and know
belief is half the battle
faith the other part
there is no room for query or supposition
let not the terrors a place at the table
the pure hearted know
healing comes from the soul
I tell myself this
at 4am over the toilet bowl
exhausted before I have woken
I tell myself this
when panic grips my chest like a thunder bolt
and whispers in my ear, it’s been six months
I tell myself this
when the person I was, is not the person I have become
but a whisper of what was
BECAUSE
we have a choice in our fight
to take it, to face it, or to back down
and though I wanted to give up, though I tried to let go
I’m still carrying the smallest candle of hope
it is in the stains of your disaffection
the hideous recollection of your breakage
when you see through the ugliness that doesn’t quit
and pain needling you like it learned to knit
those fierce moments in between
they are yours
and the day will come
full and bright and brilliant
when you shall, reclaim yourself
Last night
Last night, The Devil called
He said
I’m calling in my marker
You have the wrong stiff, I replied
I’ve been scared stiff too long
I calcified
Turned into crystal
Split apart under armadillo sun
Melted and became a resin lingua, beneath surface, hearing murmur
Of half forgotten plea
Smoke me if you must
You’ve got the flame
Though displeased not to gain my soul, ponder this …
What you cannot snap in two
What resists
Will one day be called beautiful
And all that pain it took
Just to keep walking
When the sun burned you to clay and turned you finally to river mud
When the last ounce of yes I can
Si su puede
Became Holy Lord I cannot endure
When you felt yourself
Wilt like wax candle of the saints, in midday sun
From alive, to oil, to fire and back again to blood
When Demi-Devil’s mock human weakness
Whispering in your shellac ear
“Try your hand at Lady luck”
You know
As sure as the pain
Will come and sear that moment, right from you
A ripper of joy
Wielding guts by the garter
That no ideal lasts as long as your breath
Captured in entreaty
Oh Great Ones
Who stand, past and present
And know what we, of salinated water, shall never know
Lift us up from our pain
The fear gnashing blind over tattoo soul
Lift us up high enough, to see beyond the mountain of defeat
And like children from their deep sleep, we feel renewal
Fingers of comfort, rounding in caress
You see, evil has no hold, over courage
And still it is okay to say
I am scared, I am weak
When in our transformation we will become
Light
Extinguishing a little of the fear gripping the recess of survival
Refusing to drown
Say it once
Say it every time
I am still
And the wind blows cool
On my wet face
I feel you near
I know I am not alone
I open the window and whisper
You can still
Hear
TheFeatheredSleep 