I


I am like you 

Little cacti

Turning green

In wan sun

By one sustaining drop

A sliver of 

Life

Not yet broken

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Crescendo

Is it an astigmatism or

The blur of a questioning heart

When things are disordered, the very edge 

Clutching bitten sides as hollow city dwellers

Imagine faces looking downward into fast moving water, seeing drowned doves

A predilection for extremes

Where daughters cut their ropy hair

And open like heart chakras beneath festive lighting in department stores

Accents donating starry landscape above

Informing choices as snowbound relatives learning to talk over cold soup

Girls in A-line skirts, boys hiding erections behind glossy schoolbooks

And the heat of asfalt, curling like collars made of beaver

High gloves, no verbs, learning how to dye mouths like hair

Standing on unstable chairs, wobbling with frail grace

Where is moral nerve? Where negotiation? 

Responsibility for one’s life, defines self respect into a set of bronze rings hung from pinched hips

Whatsoever the plan, pinned to walls to hide the cracks

Tension strung like artificial silk, Protection sitting among lotus words

Flattering our need only leaves a sick emptiness

As when your mother left and the heavy latch 

Never fell back

Locking you in

Toys and books and closed looks

Guests who leave their fingers uncurled, will be claimed

As shadows whisk the corners of sobriety, in sating stain

When all is said and done, back to earth we come

Folding our weary necks against soft shove

If you take anything, take the memory of

That first summer before the shimmer rubbed off 

And everyone was golden beneath August, like hot dancers 

Turning their pliant necks to the orchestra’s

Swelling crescendo

The way

Yes
You can take away my last wrapping

That I am lain unclothed, on that unwilling baptism

Behoven to the whim of mankind’s mercy

Or 

Whether chance shall triumph 

Playing her arched long game in red taffeta

Or

The turn of weather vein encompassed betwixt fate

For surely

It rains where rain is least required

As once verdant lands, feathery and skeletal in need 

Their leathered thirst a distant drum beat

We may rend our chests in trying to reconcile

What seems without mercy

As the seeds dry before they reach

Nourishment

As the sun turns away from its hungered crop

As a girl is dragged off, just for showing the ragged hem of her ankle

We who comprise of water and salt

Sweeten nothing if spent in pursuit of filched agrandisement

Forgetful of those who once were brothers, sisters

Pausing toil to climb the jagged mountain

Sharing water beneath wide branched tree

Who has seen the come and go of little things like ourselves

Heard the speeches and secret vanities whispered into night air on polinated breath

Whose roots alone dwarf our fidgety pretention

All at once magnifying

The worth of an honest man, a kind neighbor

The brilliance of a blue throated starling

As language most timeless can be found in the grateful eyes of a stranger

Taking the long road together, as water shall run

Again in dry river beds

And show us our rightful way

Last night


Last night, The Devil called

He said

I’m calling in my marker

You have the wrong stiff, I replied

I’ve been scared stiff too long

I calcified

Turned into crystal

Split apart under armadillo sun

Melted and became a resin lingua, beneath surface, hearing murmur

Of half forgotten plea 
Smoke me if you must

You’ve got the flame

Though displeased not to gain my soul, ponder this …

What you cannot snap in two

What resists

Will one day be called beautiful

And all that pain it took

Just to keep walking

When the sun burned you to clay and turned you finally to river mud

When the last ounce of yes I can

Si su puede

Became Holy Lord I cannot endure

When you felt yourself

Wilt like wax candle of the saints, in midday sun

From alive, to oil, to fire and back again to blood

When Demi-Devil’s mock human weakness

Whispering in your shellac ear
“Try your hand at Lady luck”
You know

As sure as the pain

Will come and sear that moment, right from you

A ripper of joy

Wielding guts by the garter

That no ideal lasts as long as your breath

Captured in entreaty
Oh Great Ones

Who stand, past and present

And know what we, of salinated water, shall never know

Lift us up from our pain

The fear gnashing blind over tattoo soul

Lift us up high enough, to see beyond the mountain of defeat

And like children from their deep sleep, we feel renewal

Fingers of comfort, rounding in caress

You see, evil has no hold, over courage

And still it is okay to say

I am scared, I am weak

When in our transformation we will become

Light

Extinguishing a little of the fear gripping the recess of survival

Refusing to drown 

Say it once

Say it every time

I am still

And the wind blows cool

On my wet face

I feel you near

I know I am not alone

I open the window and whisper

You can still

Hear

Mercy

Though we were afraid
We stood

Though we trembled

We reached

Though we feared falling

We let go

Though you are far 

You caught me

Though you were struggling

You held on

Though we both felt we couldn’t

We did

And the light that bathed our rebirth

Was a mute white

And the song in our mouths

Was of gratitude

And my loved ones passed over

Clambored from their soil and Ash

As beautiful as children again

Clasping my empiness 

They claimed me anew

Standing on the bridge

One side darkness and dusk

Extinguisher of all I was

The other side golden 

You have been so missed they chorused

And at first I couldn’t bear the feeling

Surging in me like a hundred hands

But they held firm, did not let me run, did not excuse me

No death did not stop us

No life is not meant to be half lived

One foot peering over the edge

And when the bird

Red breasted and full

Flew into my room and cast his burning glow

I lifted from my expiry

I left there on the bed

My tears

My certainty of nothing

And light as a dream 

Flew outside

Feeling as if the very first

The pinch of fresh air

Brighten grey

Banish terror

Unplug disease

Renew hope

Lifting their hands to heaven

All those I thought lost

Remind me anew

You are so loved

Cone back to life

Cross the bridge

Watch isolation fade

As a dark ship will receed in fog

All was but a dream

This hand in yours

This family forsook

You are still standing

Even as landscape burned

Your strength found 

In the deep roots of a patient tree

Invulnerable to life’s petty whim

Endure and overhead

Watch the season turn on her slim ankle

And fill us with color

I have been waiting all this time

For permission to breathe deeply

And exhale 

Letting go of fear and the unknown

For those who are never lost

Keep us tethered to the living 

Even as they cross

To wonderment

Gilt


The icons

Their gilted, leafed, gold

Vibrant vermillion

Watch with watery eyes

Dried on stone

As old as memory

They shift

Imperceptably

Less than the fierce jackknifing

Of human need

As hot as birth

Waiting for rain

The saints

Painted with care

Remain vivid

As those who bleed

Live too fast and bruise

As dragonflies tussle

Enmeshed in each other’s flicker 

For a shortness that seems

Long

In sight of land

IMG_0923.JPGMercy is an unexpected hand, steadying

Mercy feels like rain

Mercy hurts as laughter will, the first time you smile again

Mercy is a series of white flowers, forging out of bleached, dry grass

Mercy is a silver arrow, piercing resistance

Mercy is the face you need to claim, before all air is lost

Mercy is the final flood, a lost song, a forgotten book, page 456, line 34

Mercy is your imperfectly knit blanket over my shoulders, smelling of bonfire wood, shivering against wolf pelt, in necklace of thorns

We pull and we pull

Our teeth, our reach, our ankles

Until dearticulated and reborn, pass on our baton of water

Mercy is a legacy

A line in land, seen from air

The silken scar, cut across suntanned throat

Mercy is hearing them again, whether a moment or year since, beholding under solvent skies

The memory of love, held too tight, between clenched fingers

Mercy is the separation between, what we let go and what we keep afloat

When darkness dissolves resolve

Mercy lends hope