I am aware of the acrid taste in my mouth
of months
rolled under yellowed paper and stuffed with dust
I am aware of the dusk and the dawn
as it begins and falls outside of my existence
for the confined are the ones, who most seek the light
held back by the devil on my back, digging his rusty spurs
I dream
of who I was before, and who I may again, become
Restrained in abayence, watching the spin of twitching world
was there a time yet? I did not sicken at the mention
of nutrition and sustainence?
or energy enough to power through, whatever ailed me
now the vampire drains me of enough, I can only watch
in flickering shadows, a dance of memories across my jaundice
so much has come and gone in this short time, where a day
feels eternal
where an hour of pain is like
a life time without
as if cruelty stretched it out
until you could hardly see
where it began and where it stopped
or maybe it did not
end and instead
drags out, again and again, as if set on repeat
wake up, sicken, do the same until all you see
is the specter of yourself, treading lost time
and the taunt of health, is always a little too far to reach
yet you must try girl
yet you must seek
wellness
