For survival is found

We looked at the bright box

Lighting reproductions of your brain

You made the inevitable joke

And I wondered how many had

Sat like us, closely squished into single seat

Faux leather gleaming with accumulated sweat

For humor seems solitary solace

When the world goes to hell in a hand basket

Leaving behind folded gloves with bitten tips

Back then I was untrained, in navigating pursing hallways

Pushing wheelchairs, your head horizontal, stapled

Youth’s strength saw us over the sanitized hump

Out into the car park where we ran, loose gowns and trailing bandages

Afterwards felt like climbing out of hell, without traction

Floundering to understand the submersion of health

I told you, even nightmares have to wake up

And with each removed staple, pulled from your sore skull, you found release

Near did I guess, my own oily cavort with sickness

Lay silently sheathed, like store bought bread, just around the corner

I should have worn those pinching purple shoes and danced

You should have run the glow foam 5k and eaten vegan tamales

We should have visited Kavik River Camp in Alaska and climbed jagged cliffs

Tried the new Japanese restaurant with pastel tea lanterns

Wrung out from quick glimpses, thimbles of life

Instead I borrowed on my new found strength

Worked long hours, forgetting to look out the window at passing moon and sun

Putting off tomorrow, building futures without living now

It is our mistake when shown a lesson, not to stop and be mindful

For survival is found in, the smallest moments

Permission to be destroyed

25-wasting-time

There’s an old saying, the man felt sorrow because he had no arm

until he met a man who had no leg

comparison being an uncomfortable bed mate

all of us could do with sinking to our knees

mindful our own aches in the sum of things

matter and matter less

not dismissing but appreciating

someone out there is worse off

when I feel betrayed I recall

someone else was betrayed twice as bad

when in the eighth month of pregnancy

he said I’m leaving

when I feel lonely I think

of those who lost everyone and never

regained belonging

when I feel sorrow

it is the sorrow of those who survived

concentration camps only to find light

once more

that keeps me endeavouring to do my best

even if I fall

even if I cannot always

by that I do not diminish

anyone’s hurt

but it is worth considering

if others survived

we too

can pick ourselves up

and not give permission

to be destroyed