For survival is found

We looked at the bright box

Lighting reproductions of your brain

You made the inevitable joke

And I wondered how many had

Sat like us, closely squished into single seat

Faux leather gleaming with accumulated sweat

For humor seems solitary solace

When the world goes to hell in a hand basket

Leaving behind folded gloves with bitten tips

Back then I was untrained, in navigating pursing hallways

Pushing wheelchairs, your head horizontal, stapled

Youth’s strength saw us over the sanitized hump

Out into the car park where we ran, loose gowns and trailing bandages

Afterwards felt like climbing out of hell, without traction

Floundering to understand the submersion of health

I told you, even nightmares have to wake up

And with each removed staple, pulled from your sore skull, you found release

Near did I guess, my own oily cavort with sickness

Lay silently sheathed, like store bought bread, just around the corner

I should have worn those pinching purple shoes and danced

You should have run the glow foam 5k and eaten vegan tamales

We should have visited Kavik River Camp in Alaska and climbed jagged cliffs

Tried the new Japanese restaurant with pastel tea lanterns

Wrung out from quick glimpses, thimbles of life

Instead I borrowed on my new found strength

Worked long hours, forgetting to look out the window at passing moon and sun

Putting off tomorrow, building futures without living now

It is our mistake when shown a lesson, not to stop and be mindful

For survival is found in, the smallest moments

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Semblance

213274660_0a9586af47_oI can’t keep up with the rapidity of

Smart Phones and Bit-Fit Watches

so

I’m empty wristed and void of clutch

abandoning the world of technology and rush

hurtling without break down San Fransisco streets

 

remember the days when

we took summer vacation?

not fearful of boss or observing every text?

remember when

the phone did not ring late at night

unless it was about death

or

wake us at first light with impatient query

colleagues who

may get to work before you

stealing your slot before you knew what you lost

 

remember when

you ate a warm breakfast, read the paper

talked to your kids

stroked the dog

noticed the door needed a new paint job

revelled in the glory of Sunday mornings

not getting out

of a deep filled bed

arms and feet and legs

splayed

 

remember when

guilt

panic

and shame

anxiety with a twist of lime

in the gut

did not become

the drink du jour nor

were cocktails and dinner parties so rare

for now we walk among penitents who cannot abhor

excess

 

remember when

you had time for yourself?

it was not a surprise looking in the mirror

seeing how years had passed

how long it had been since you touched or were touched

lain in the bath with the lights off

 

now

you feel the rapid beat

of your heart beneath your sweat proof deodorized clothes

you feel the burn in your gut

of coffee on partially eaten stomach

you feel the rush

you feel the senselessness

and friends you have no time for

and family are strangers

and the dog that barks in the night

is you

crying out

 

muzzled and penned by day

you sit at your desk reading online about

why sitting too long will

kill

and how important it is

to make time

time? You say

what is time?

I know not how to capture it

but I can – if you ask

always tell you how to find

another minute to check

my digitized semblance

of life